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Advertisement (and other Statements of the Incredibly Obvious). OKAY, IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL ON US, POW E R BAR PER FOR M 'I SAD R INK AND NOT A BA R. BUT, IN OUR DEFENSE , WHAT COULD BE MORE NATURAL THAN A BAR SERVING SOMEONE A DRINK? So, what's your pleasure? A sports drink that comes in pretry fluo- rescent colors and tastes like it's for kids? Or one that's made for real athletes? Ah, good choice, my friend. Function over fashion; can't go wrong there. Now that we're speaking the same language, let us just give you a quick rundown of what we carry: In bottles, we've got PowerBar Perform in Orange, Berry, Tropical Punch and Lemon-Lime Ice. Or, if you'd prefer a powder, we've got Perform Plus in Orange, Berry and Lemon-Lime. Not sure? Well then, let's see what we can tell you about them, maybe help you make up your mind. First off, the taste: It's crisp and clean. Not too sweet, no aftertaste whatsoever. Sound good to you? It ought to, considering this is exact- ly what you told us you wanted. Well, not you specifically, but people like you (as in, serious athletes). In fact, one of the first things we did was call up six-time Ironman champion Dave Scott and his triathlete friends to pick their brains: What do athletes really need from a sports drink? What could we do better? Where could we improve on what's gone before? As you can imagine, there was no shortage of opinions. One of the directives handed back to us was to con- When exercising, your electrolytes escape through sweat. Not to worry, though. Perform puts them all right back where they belong. Your body will show its appreciation by not collapsing in a wheezing heap at the side of the road. And let's not forget the antioxidants, Vitamins C and E, which valiantly help combat the free radicals that your body produces during exercise. Then there's three energy-related B vitamins which help you metabolize ener- gy, and so on and so forth. So, that's what goes into Perform; you Drinks, anyone? PowerBar'" Pe/folm'" delivers rif/"eshing liquid fiul for athletes. And Perform Plus'~in powder- gives you even more of a competitive edge. centrate on the athlete's physical condition at the point of consumption. In other words, how drinkable is the drink in the heat of competition? At the point of sweat, when it matters most? For this, my friend, is where we begin to separate the authentic sports drink from the neon-colored pretenders. Why, do you know what most of these so-called sports drinks are made ftom) Simple sugars. Not PowerBar Perform. No, our drink is for- mulated with TO;: a proprietary blend of short, medium and long chain carbohydrates that helps maintain energy over time. Because, in case you haven't noticed, most competitions tend to last awhile. We also paid particularly close attention to the electrolytes, such as sodium and potassium, which help speed fluid to tired muscles. might be interested in hearing what we've left out. No artificial flavors, no artificial colors, and no preservatives. Hard to imagine in this day and age, but there you have it. Now, for those of you seeking an even greater edge, Perform Plus has got everything that Perform has, plus eight additional enhancements to help with your performance. These include a carb blend that's higher in complex carbs to help improve endurance, Chromium to support muscle glucose uptake, Magnesium to help maximize rehydration, three Branch-Chain Amino Acids to aid muscle maintenance and performance, N-Aceryl-Cysteine to assist your body in manufacturing a cellular antioxidant, and Glutamine to help with muscle recovery. Still with us? Good for you. Did you know, you'll be the very first person ever to read straight through to the end? It's quite an achievement. In fact, we should have a drink to celebrate. Yes, a drink is certainly in order! So, what's your pleas- ure? A sports drink that comes in pretry fluorescent colors and tastes like it's for kids? Or one that's made for real athletes? Ah, good choice, my friend. Function over fashion; can't go wrong there. Now that we're speaking the same language, let us just give you a quick rundown of what we carry: Please retum to start of ad. Sorry, but it looks like you're going to be here quite awhile. Our only advice is to keep hydrated, stay positive, take the long sentences slowly, and above all else, DON'T BON K.